Britney Spears gave the Top Ten on David Letterman last night. The subject: "Top Ten Ways the Country Would Be Different if Britney Were President". She looked pretty good in the bikini, but it was a petty attempt to get some viewers. There were basically no laughs from the audience as the Top Ten was a disaster. None of the jokes were good, with the best one being "Vice President Diddy", and even that is lame. Watching a pretty woman sit there and speak complete nonsense............I feel like I am at a Palin speech.

Stewart puts his thoughts forward on Usain Bolt's recent 100 meter run in 9.58 seconds that broke the World Record. This runner really is from another world, or Jamacia, same concept I guess. Bolt ran at 23 miles an hour, which I believe is faster than a car I owned at one point in my life. Or, as Stewart put it:

You have to be careful with live television. Especially where you can find some of the craziest people in the country............ in front of a church. During the NBC Nightly News, Andrea Mitchell was reporting on the funeral of Eunice Kennedy Shriver when someone in the background started yelling profanity. You can see the smirk on both the newscasters faces after they heard the guy yell.

Here is the video of the glorious event. You think the guy yelling would have thought of something more creative to yell.

The Philadelphia Eagles had a press conference today and Michael Vick gave an apology and thanks to a lot of people for giving him a second chance.